Monday, December 28, 2009

Tyra Banks's Craziest Moments

As the decade winds to a close, it's only natural to look back at the events that have shaped and informed our lives over the last 10 years in order to take stock of how our world has changed. And in retrospect, one trend above all others stands out this century: Tyra Banks is crazy.




Whether she's crazy good or crazy bad, of course, is entirely in the eye of the beholder, but over the course of her five years at the helm of 'The Tyra Show,' perhaps no other daytime talk host gave us as many buzzed-about moments, from the worthy to the cringe-worthy.



Sadly for everyone, though, Banks announced earlier today that 'The Tyra Show' will be ending this spring at the conclusion of its fifth season. This won't mean the end of Tyra herself, of course; she's still going to be delivering shows such as 'America's Next Top Model' and 'True Beauty,' stating on her website that "There's a lot cooking right now and a lot of fire burning in my heart." She also told PEOPLE that she plans to focus on film projects (!!).



But while that internal barbecue will no doubt continue to serve up plenty more in the future, we have to admit we're going to miss the unpredictable hour of weirdness that 'The Tyra Show' has brought to our afternoons for the past half decade. So with that in mind, and to celebrate the contributions Tyra has made to the world of daytime television, we now present to your our list of the craziest moments ever on the 'The Tyra Show.'





1. "Squat. Pull Forward. Pee." -- Using public bathrooms can be a tricky proposition, especially if, like Tyra in this clip, you apparently are wearing gigantic undergarments that drag along the ground. Luckily, Tyra has some helpful -- and very specific -- tips on how to best make use of toilets. 2. "Kiss My Fat Ass" -- We applaud the message Tyra was sending here, confronting both the media and our culture in general over the way women are constantly subjected to pressure regarding their body image. Whether shouting "kiss my fat ass" at the world was the best way to get that message across, well, that might be a different story.

2. "Kiss My Fat Ass" -- We applaud the message Tyra was sending here, confronting both the media and our culture in general over the way women are constantly subjected to pressure regarding their body image. Whether shouting "kiss my fat ass" at the world was the best way to get that message across, well, that might be a different story.


3. "The Wondrous Vulva Puppet" -- We think the title pretty much says it all.





4. "You Get ... Vaseline!" -- It's no secret that Tyra has patterned her empire-building efforts after the inimitable Oprah Winfrey. But while imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, we're not sure where mockery falls on that sliding scale. In this clip, Tyra decides to parody Oprah's famous car giveaway by treating her ecstatic audience to ... jars of free Vaseline?


5. "They're Saying That My Boobs Are Fake" -- Former 'American Idol' runner-up Kat McPhee had a bit of a dilemma when wagging tongues began whispering that her breasts were fake. The solution? Have Tyra Banks give them a thorough once-over on national television. Problem solved.


6. "Rip 'Em Off!" -- Boot cut, flare cut, straight cut. There are a lot of ways to wear your jeans. Then there's the Tyra cut, which involves getting in a conga line, ripping your pants off and heaving them into the air so a "jean posse" can outfit you with a new pair. Note: don't try this in public unless you have Tyra Banks with you.


7. "I Don't Want to Get Stuck by a Porcupine" -- Tyra pretty much spoke for everyone when she decided she didn't want to be on the business end of a porcupine. She also went ass-over-teakettle in the process, nearly destroying her set in an attempt to get away from the placid beast. And we think she dropped an F-bomb in there somewhere too. Animals just make lousy guests.




8. "This Is Me, Y'all" -- Tyra stirred up perhaps her biggest controversy when she decided to stop wearing wigs and weaves and show off her real hair instead. That's not crazy; we think the message of embracing your natural self is a positive one, especially in an African-American community that has often had hair related issues (see: Chris Rock's documentary 'Good Hair'). The crazy part here? That Tyra had to hide her perfectly fine hair in the first place.

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